Last spring I participated in a Bible study on depression. The second week of the study, I had a fit of depression worse than any I could remember for a long time. (Even worse than the momentary lapse when the miracle drug Chantix failed to reassure my brain it did not need nicotine and I wept irrationally all the way to the store where I bought a pack of cigarettes and made it all better.)
This fall I was in a Bible study on how God uses stress in our lives. I also started daily Bible reading again - something I had let slide. My stress level at work multiplied seemingly overnight and I didn't handle the stress as if God was using it to refine me.
On New Year's Day, I started Professor Grant Horner's Bible-Reading System. Yesterday morning I had a major hissy fit in the truck before I left for work. First I realized there was a 10-minute difference between the bedroom clock and the rest of the world, finally explaining why I kept "losing time" between the house and the truck (causing me to be late for work more times than not). Then, I couldn't get my phone out of my pocket. It's a long coat, so the pocket is in an awkward position once I'm sitting and belted in. The pocket is that slick stuff. I had my gloves on. The phone has a rubberized skin. I yanked, I pulled, I twisted...and @!*&*%$@ like a sailor. Words I thought had been exorcised from my vocabulary.
I used to be that Christian who got very uncomfortable when friends talked about the devil as something more than an abstract concept representing evil in the world. That has changed over time. I believe satan attacks when we are starting down the right road, following God's plan for our lives, making spiritual progress. The stuck phone may not seem like much of an attack, but the spontaneous rage that resulted was a little frightening, especially considering the easy fixes - undo the belt and get out of the truck, or remove the glove, or don't put the phone in the pocket to begin with...
By the way, I am LOVING this Bible reading system (you can download it here). There's also a Facebook group you can join here. I thought reading 10 chapters a day would be a burden - instead, I am anxious to get back to it.
2 comments:
it's never the big stuff...the big stuff usually pushed you toward thoughts of eternity and causality...which lead to thoughts of God. it's always the little stuff because it doesn't make you think, it just pinched enough to ruin your attitude. it's never the kid who drops the f bomb...it's always the student that taps the pencil that pushes the teacher over the edge.
Great analogy! You're absolutely right. I cannot handle the pencil tapping :-)
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