The rooster crowed

My confession:

I denied Christ yesterday at work. I never imagined this would happen - in fact, I've fantasized before about the horrible things people could do to me to make me deny my Lord and I knew I would stand strong. And then, reality, and it was over before I knew what I had done.

I was listening to my iPod. A guy who recently started working on one of our projects asked me what I was listening to, and I checked the screen to see who it was and said "Third Day." He asked who they were and I said I wasn't sure, probably something I'd picked up from one of my kids.

I absolutely know who Third Day is. They're a Christian rock/alternative/whatever group and I really like their music. One of the reasons I listen to Christian music at work when I can is to counteract the worldliness I've been letting cling to me lately. And yet, when I had this great opportunity to share a little bit of who I am, I lied and I had no reason to . . . still don't know why I did.

All I could think of was Peter, and the rooster crowing for the third time, and his realization of what he had done. I felt that shame, and horror and helplessness. I thought about chasing after the guy and trying to change what I did, but instead I prayed for forgiveness and tried to forget.

Today, though, I'm still sick inside over what happened. God always forgives when we repent and seek His forgiveness, so I know He's forgiven me, but I also believe sometimes we are called to public confession. This is mine.